国产偷拍

Jason David Sluyter (11) can vividly recall the most difficult moment of his battle with cancer. After having 60 percent of his tongue and all of the lymphnodes in his neck removed over the course of a 15-hour operation, he lie awake in the hospital bed. Due to the swelling from the surgery, he was left unable to speak, eat, or breathe out of his mouth. Attempts at a feeding tube inserted through his nostrils proved ineffective, as an overactive gag reflex made keeping the tube or any food down impossible. Removal of the tube was costly, sacrificing his ability to breathe out of his nose as well. A tracheal tube was inserted as a last resort, to very little avail. Due to constant drainage of blood from the surgery, every few seconds became a struggle for air as Sluyter, in a frenzy, indicated to nearby nurses that the tube must be cleared immediately to allow a brief relief of air into his frail frame.

Intense pain permeated; sleep and rest in any measure became a distant memory. In an effort to subdue some of the discomfort, medication was administered in copious amounts, providing minimal relief, but ultimately taking a toll on his body鈥檚 overall functioning. Diuretics soon followed, in hopes of correcting the effects of the pain meds. This perfect storm culminated in a very dark moment for Sluyter, the darkest he can recollect from his months of physically, mentally, and spiritually fighting the attack taking place in his own body.

鈥淚 was sitting on the bathroom floor, in my own waste, being cleaned up by a young nurse, unable to breathe or eat, in excruciating pain, thinking, 鈥業 can鈥檛 get through five more seconds of this鈥� 鈥� and at that same moment remembering that the doctor had told me it would only get worse for the next five days,鈥� said Sluyter. 鈥淲hen you鈥檙e in that much pain, you鈥檙e not thinking clearly or rationally. You just want relief, and the only way I knew I could get that relief was to die.鈥�

鈥淓verything through this process was so out of my hands that I had to give up trying to control it. I鈥檝e stopped trying so hard to create my own legacy and significance and just love life as it is.鈥�

While this moment illustrates the severity of Sluyter鈥檚 circumstances, it hardly tells the whole story. To fully capture the incredible journey, one would have to go back before the horrendous recovery period, before the surgery on his tongue and neck, before the hole that was drilled into his hip to assess the cancerous chemicals that had been dispersed throughout his body, before the diagnosis of stage three tongue cancer or the painful, spasming collapse that sent him to the hospital for what would turn out to be a year of tests, treatments, and an endless array of tubes.

In the years before his diagnosis, things were happening for Sluyter. While attending 国产偷拍 in 2011, he organized a Bible study for his peers, which grew exponentially during his time as a student; served as the young adults pastor at Skyline Community Church in San Diego; and helped lead praise and worship at his parents church, Generations Life Center. After graduating, he decided to pour his time and talents primarily into helping his parents, while working on building his music career. A talented singer and pianist, he dabbled in almost every kind of music throughout his youth 鈥� from pop to rap to rock 鈥� and in the process, discovered a passion for writing songs. When he was offered his job as youth pastor at Bonita Valley Community Church (BVCC) in 2016, Sluyter was actively involved in a band called Dare to Be Dreamers, which sought not only to make music, but to use their love of music and film to grant the wishes of children with terminal illnesses across the country. Media outlets had taken notice and their efforts were gaining traction. That success, coupled with marriage to his girlfriend, Alyson, and a new job, meant things were on track for Sluyter. Things were going so well, in fact, that he paid no mind to the small growth on his tongue. That is, until a biopsy changed everything.

鈥淢y first response after receiving the diagnosis was: 鈥榯his isn鈥檛 my story,鈥欌�� he said. 鈥淪o I ignored it. I kept doing concerts and preparing to start my new job, but then it all started falling apart. My bones hurt; my body would lock up; at one point, I physically couldn鈥檛 get out of bed. I knew I couldn鈥檛 pretend it wasn鈥檛 real anymore, and in the matter of a month, my life completely flipped upside down.鈥�

Thirty-five rounds of radiation later, Sluyter, who had lost 80 pounds over the course of the treatments, was left unable to speak for six months and unable to taste food for nine. To make matters worse, he was told there was a chance he may never speak again, and would very likely never be able to sing.

Now a year and a half since his diagnosis, Sluyter can not only speak, but is actively engaged as a pastor again, speaking to his youth group on a weekly basis. He can not only sing, but has released a song, 鈥淭hese Walls,鈥� that, with millions of downloads, is taking the Christian community by storm. He not only has a new tongue 鈥� rebuilt from the skin of his left forearm, on which he will now forever bear scars 鈥� but he also has a new outlook on life.

鈥淚 gave up on striving,鈥� said Sluyter. 鈥淓verything through this process was so out of my hands that I had to give up trying to control it. I鈥檝e stopped trying so hard to create my own legacy and significance and just love life as it is. I don鈥檛 take anything for granted now 鈥� eating ice cream, kissing my wife 鈥� everything is a first again.鈥�

Enjoyment of the simple pleasures in life isn鈥檛 the only revelation to come out of this ordeal. For Sluyter, the uncomfortable nature of this journey has actually brought a new level of comfort around his faith. Once bound by a need to have answers for his own questions and those of others, he now finds himself more at ease with the unknown.

鈥淗er singing was the only peace I got and the only thing that could help me fall asleep.鈥�

鈥淏efore, it bothered me and scared me to not have all the answers, because as a pastor I felt I needed to have an answer for everything,鈥� he said. 鈥淣ow, I鈥檓 okay not knowing and admitting that I don鈥檛 know. I will keep pursuing truth, but I鈥檓 not going to stress about it; I鈥檓 going to enjoy that pursuit.鈥�

Sluyter alludes to this embrace of uncertainty in the bridge of 鈥淭hese Walls,鈥� writing, 鈥渆ven in the suffering, I鈥檒l sing; even in my questioning, believe.鈥� It is this line that comprises the only part of the song written post-cancer, the rest having been penned prior to his diagnosis. And while he felt a connection with the lyrics before, he never could have foreseen how the song would later become an anthem for his story and his faith 鈥� or the global impact it would have, with translations in several languages, coverage by multiple news stations, and a top 10 ranking on the iTunes gospel charts.

Revisiting his dark moment, Sluyter admits he doesn鈥檛 think of his journey as heroic. In fact, most of what pulled him through that time was simply considering what other people would think of him, the message it would send to his students, the impact it would have on his wife. And his contemplations of suicide weren鈥檛 his only brushes with the idea of death. Once the world caught wind of his condition, an online ambush ensued. Friends, family, and acquaintances flocked to Facebook to leave a kind word and reminisce on the ways in which Sluyter had impacted their lives.

鈥淚t was like attending a Facebook funeral, with people saying all these kind things about me 鈥� even people I hadn鈥檛 talked to in years or who I thought didn鈥檛 like me or didn鈥檛 even know who I was,鈥� he said. 鈥淎nd it made me wonder why people wait until someone is on their deathbed to say these things, when they could have so much more impact and healing and closure by saying them sooner.鈥�

He now takes this approach with the people in his own life, especially his wife, whose support was paramount to his recovery. With Sluyter in the hospital for the couple鈥檚 entire third year of marriage, his wife stepped in as sole breadwinner, nurse, and interim youth pastor. In addition to her job as a middle school math teacher, she helped grow the youth group at BVCC from 20 students to almost 100. And when not at school or church, she was by Sluyter鈥檚 side, learning how to care for him and providing what comfort she could.

鈥淎lyson would come to the hospital at night and sing to me,鈥� said Sluyter. 鈥淗er singing was the only peace I got and the only thing that could help me fall asleep.鈥�

The year definitely took a toll on their marriage though, Sluyter confirms. Unable for months to eat a meal together or even verbally communicate, the couple looks back at that time as a challenge for sure, but an even stronger testament to their commitment to one another.

鈥淏efore this, when stressful things came up, we knew if we just worked hard and planned, we would be okay,鈥� said Alyson. 鈥淚n this case, all we could do was trust. We didn鈥檛 know what was going to happen and we couldn鈥檛 do anything to make it better. All we could do was sit by each other and pray, and it brought us so much closer. We already knew that we loved each other and would be there for each other, but now we know love and trust on an even deeper level.鈥�

In addition to a stronger relationship with his wife, Sluyter also feels better able to relate to others around him, especially those hurting both physically and emotionally. His song has served as an inspiration and encouragement to many to revisit the dreams they鈥檝e long thought dead. And when those who have been impacted by his words reach out with their stories of pain and suffering, Sluyter embraces the pain with them, knowing just what he needs to say.

鈥淣othing; there鈥檚 really nothing I can say that is going to make them feel better,鈥� he said. 鈥淭he best thing anyone said to me was, 鈥榯his sucks.鈥� I appreciated it so much because that person wasn鈥檛 trying to fix me or give me a clich茅 or sugarcoat anything. I鈥檝e found that most people don鈥檛 know how to handle another person鈥檚 pain. That person really just needs to be loved.鈥�

Sluyter鈥檚 ability to connect with others extends all the way to the pulpit, where he brings a new level of honesty to his messages, offering his audience an authenticity that he says fosters deeper restoration. Living by the motto, 鈥渨hen you鈥檙e hiding you鈥檙e not healing,鈥� he aims to live a life of transparency with others 鈥� and with God.

鈥淕rowing up, I always bottled things,鈥� he said. 鈥淚 hid my emotions and lived with the mindset that I couldn鈥檛 be angry at God. Now I鈥檝e come to the place of knowing I can be as honest as I need to be with Him. He already knows anyway.鈥�

Equipped with this mindset, Sluyter has moved well beyond the restraints of an illness that once had him bound, past the threat of dormant dreams, into a freedom of confident and wholehearted living and the promise of a future far brighter than he imagined.

鈥淲hen I thought my old dreams were dead, I didn鈥檛 give up on them, but I also started to pursue new ones,鈥� said Sluyter. 鈥淎nd now I鈥檓 combining the old with the new and realizing different dreams, bigger dreams. I鈥檓 doing everything with crazy passion 鈥� preaching every sermon and singing every song like it鈥檚 my last. And I鈥檓 trying to remember that, at the end of the day, my identity isn鈥檛 really about any of these things at all. It鈥檚 all about Christ, who He is; not what I can do for Him.鈥�